The Way You Say My Name
by MukuroMay
Summary: Yaoi. Touya X Yukito. Touya thinks about the way Yukito says his name, during a night at his friend's house. Rating for language. R&R, onegai!


_Sakura Card Captor - Yaoi - Touya X Yukito. _

Touya muses one night about his relationship with Yukito, since its beginning, and how the gray-haired one says his name. It's an interesting fic, with intent to humor. Watch out for the language and implicit sex. 

From Touya's POV. 

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**The Way You Say My Name**

_[Tsukishiro Home, 2 AM.]_

Hello! My name is Kinomoto Touya. 

I'm 17 years old and I live in Tomoeda, a peacefully little town in Japan. I live with my father (he's a teacher at the local university) and my little kaijuu sister (I love to annoy her). My mother died when I was a kid... She was a model, very beautiful, and she married my father when she was still very young. Well... I study, I'm in high school, I'm part of the basketball team, and I must say that I'm pretty popular among the students. Oh... I also work on my free time, doing several different things, to help with my home budget. 

My life is pretty normal. Ano... "normal" until a certain point... That's if you ignore some details, like a gift of mine - I see dead people - don't worry, I don't see them anymore... Or maybe the fact that your little hoeee-kaijuu sister is the mistress of some troubled cards. Oh, yeah, I almost forgot - what about a hyperglycemic puffy yellow mouth-louded toy (I think it's a bear) that flies through the house, plays video game all the time and eats all your food at night? I'm *sure* someone over there has a sister with a toy like that!! Ex precog pedophile girlfriend? A "best friend" that it's really an angel with big wings, unstable mood, gorgeous hair and all that stuff? No? Nobody has any of it? 

Tsc... how come? These things are so common nowadays... 

Well... I'm like that, and I live with all of those things. Does it bother me? Oh, no !!! No way... it's all about getting used to it, with time. None of that bugs me anymore. 

Demo... there is something that... kind of... moves me... makes me... dumb. Sort of... I can't explain it very well, how I feel, I was never good with words. But that's exactly what I want to discuss. 

You know... that "best friend" I talked about? Well... his name is Tsukishiro Yukito. He's a bit shorter than me, gray-haired, wonderful eyes (you can lost yourself on them...), a great mouth, such inviting lips... 

Ok, enough. 

Well... he's like that when he's not in his true form. We study together, work together, and we spend free time together. He is kind, gentle, polite, intelligent, funny, helpful,... perfect. What everybody wants, including me! He's incredible sexy, even more when he's in his true form. I could make a small dictionary with his qualities. I'm serious, that wouldn't be difficult. 

Well, getting back to business, hu-uh... That's Yukito. We've met years ago, and we've started a relationship, a very grateful friendship, since the beginning. And as in all good friendships, besides the fact that we've been very attached to each other since ever, Yukito and I have nicknames that we often use when we are alone. 

It's not exactly a nickname, it's more like a shorter version for our names. Ano... nicknames *are* a shorter version of names... Bah... Call it whatever you want... nicknames, abbreviations, it doesn't matter. The fact is that I call Yukito "Yuki" and... ehhh... he calls me... "To-ya". 

Did I mention that my name is Touya? 

"Yukito" is not a long name. "Yuki" is shorter, and it's kind of... cute? It fits him well. Short and easy to say - Yuki. Yuuuuki. Yukiiii... Ok, now I'm giggling like a stupid sixteen high school girl with a dangerous high tax of hormones... 

But it sounds so... good... Yuki. 

All right. Now. "To-ya". Did I mention that my name is Touya? 

In Japanese we say "ou" like an "o" as in "Romeo". We shut our mouth a little as we speak but there is almost no difference in the sound. Conclusion: "To-ya" equals "Touya". My name is short and simple, there is absolutely *no need* to abbreviate it. 

But Yuki is a singular person. And he calls me "To-ya". Which *is*, believe me, different from "Touya" or "Toya". The difference it's in this stupid hyphen. Yuki actually *pronounces* the stupid freaking hyphen! How? Don't ask me, I have a theory, but I'm not sure... 

To... ya. He says "To"... and then he says "Ya". To... ya. That's it, there is a pause... a pause... Try one more time! To - pause - Ya. There you go! It's almost unnoticeable, but it's the key to all the mystery. He turns my name into a compost substantive, and then you have tons of pronouncing possibilities. And the pronouncing is very important to the understanding of a phrase. 

See??? I'm futile !! With every weird thing going on here, I'm worrying over hyphens... it's more like an obsessive worry about Yuki pronouncing my name with hyphens. 

I remember, like it was yesterday, the first month of our friendship, when Yuki started calling me... that. 

*** 

_[On that fateful corner, way to school.]_

"Ohayou To-ya !!!" 

"..." 

"To-ya?" 

"Hum... Ohayou Yuki !!! Wanna a ride?" 

"Sure !!! Arigatou." 

*** 

To-ya... Yuki says my name in a very calm way, like he is... singing. I used to be amazed because of it. I think I still am... Oh, shit... I think I'll ever be... 

After some time I learned that this is how Yuki shows his calmness, one of his secrets of his self-being. He's a calm and pondered person, and we feel that from him when he's talking. 

Still nowadays, I can be extremely angry, and if he says my name like that, it takes me no more than seconds to forget whatever it was bothering me. Many times, I sleep hearing his voice. I'm used to it, mainly when we sleep at each other's house. Once, I slept standing up in a movie line. That wasn't my fault... He wouldn't just *shut up*, and I ended up falling asleep. 

Well, with time... I got to learn new 'To-yas', and the more he says, the more I get lost in his world. 

*** 

_[Telephone.]_

"Moshi Moshi." 

"Yuki." 

"To-YA !" 

"Yuki..." 

"I'm happy you called. I was thinking about you right now!" 

"Yuki..." 

*** 

"To-YA". You say first "To" and then "YA" in a little scream. No, no... Yuki wasn't making any scandal. The "YA" sounds like a slight tone elevation, not like a hyena scream like you're doing... Stop it! What a high pitchy voice you have! Remembers me of someone... Oh... I'm feeling a migraine coming... 

Ok. No crossdressing butterflies, please. 

This "To-YA" is a happy To-ya. Again, Yuki is showing us his soul trough his words. If he talks like that to me, it means he's happy, charmed, thrilled. It means... "it's nice to see you", "you around here?" or "that's good to know"... In the end, I have this stupid smile at my face. And the more he talks, the larger my smile gets. Sometimes my checks just burn... All added to the fact that I can't say a word beside his name, stupidity written all over my face... That's so dumb. 

This "To-YA", I enjoy it. I love to make Yuki smile. I'm able to go trough hours and hours, just making little funny jokes, faces and funny things, weird sicko sounds... whatever it takes to make him smile and say my name like that. Baka, me? *No*!! You say that because it's not your name Yuki's saying... Yuki's singing!! 

Well... time passed, and we were getting to know each other better. Unfortunately I didn't make Yuki smile all the times... 

*** 

_[An ice-scream. Touya stole it from Sakura, Nakuru stole it from Touya.]_

"TO-ya !" 

"..." 

"That's not right TO-ya. It's not your ice-scream. You should give it back to Sakura-chan." 

"Ahhhh Yuki... She's just a kaijuu." 

"Tsc, tsc, tsc... And *you* have a sister complex !!!!" 

*** 

This "TO-ya" is exactly the opposite of the last one. The sound is more firm, and it comes first, and it definitely means that Yuki is not very happy with you at the moment. 

Yuki is a very kind, gentle and cautious person, he never screams or get angry with someone. But he can, when he wants to, talk firm and show his disapproval to you. It's firm, not quite harsh, something more like he's trying to get your attention. 

That doesn't mean he's sad or hurt with me or anything, I was never able to hurt him like that - deep inside, you know, but he always talks like that with me when the subject is my little sister and my jokes regarding her (he says I have a sister complex). He makes it clear that he doesn't approve my attitude, without being hard, impolite, without screaming or talking loud. 

Do you believe it? Oh boy, Yuki is definitely something, hum? 

*** 

_[Yukito fading at Touya's arms.]_

"... to-ya..." 

"Hang on Yuki, It's going to be all right..." 

"..." 

"I'm going to put you to sleep Yuki, I'm going to stay right here with you... There is no need to worry..." 

"... ari... gatou... to...to-ya..." 

*** 

That's a To-ya I don't want to hear again... Never. A sigh... a sick to-ya, an help to-ya, an agonizing to-ya, a desperate to-ya... A good-bye to-ya... 

Never again! The time Yuki was fading away because his powers were not enough for him, that was the worst time of my life, just like when my mother died. I felt helpless, I felt useless. I couldn't let someone, so important to me, go away again... And hearing he saying my name like that, it was torture! I was nervous, I didn't want to let him go, I didn't want to be incapable of saving him... The hurt and pain his whispered words caused me... I can't even explain. 

And definitely this "to-ya" is not the last thing I want to hear from his lips when we part away, eventually. Those words, my name like that... I want to forget it all. 

*** 

_[Love confession, at the park.]_

"Yuki..." 

"Hum?" 

"Yuki... Ai shiteru." 

"..." 

"..." 

"TO-YA !! TO-YA !!!" 

"Yuki..." 

"Ah, Ai shiteru mo To-hmmmm..." 

*******CENSURED*******

*** 

Hu-hu ! That "TO-YA" is a surprise To-ya! "TO-YA". That's it, higher... Huge eyes and an opened mouth to make the scene complete... It's exciting, he makes you happy, addicted. You hear this one "TO-YA", you want more... 

One thing is right: Yuki says *my* name. Not yours, not anybody else's. *My* name! Mine! I'm the one that get all the expressions and feelings and actions... You just sit and hear me talk... 

The first time I kissed Yuki, I got a surprised TO-YA. Oh, and what a kiss... Yuki's lips are soft and tasty, a sin, a wonderful thing... I'll never forget his expression at that precious time, his eyes full of trust and love, my name on his lips, his words losing themselves on my mouth... 

I've got a lot of other "TO-YA"s. One when I bought him a giant chocolate cake for his birthday, another one when I caught him from behind and jumped at the club pool (a cheap excuse to touch him more, he's beautiful with almost no clothes - don't look at me like that, I'm seventeen!!!). I got another one when I gave him our commitment ring... 

I like this "TO-YA". 

*** 

_[Tsukishiro Home. Some hours before...]_

"Hummmmm." 

"..." 

"..." 

"Oh..." 

"Nhhhhh..." 

"Ooooooooh..." 

"Yuki..." 

"..." 

"Yuki... I'm... I'm coming...oh..." 

"Oooooooooh To-yaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!" 

*******CENSURED*******

*** 

Extasy. Do I have to say more? To-yaaa or Tooo-ya, it changes, it depends of the position... hehe... Hormones... 

You see... Things were getting more and more... close... between us, and we were getting to know each other so much - oh so much - better... All the way, I got dumb and completely lost with Yuki's speaking abilities... 

To speak one only name like that, expressing lots of feelings that can touch us deep and make us lost ourselves... All because a stupid hyphen in a short flowery name. That's amazing! 

It's so much more amazing than a speaking toy, an angel, an ex girlfriend, a weird sister... It's something that I cannot understand. I get completely fascinated by Yuki and his ways with things... He makes magic on his on... A magic inside of him... He doesn't need cards, or the moon, or mistress... All he needs is his true feelings that live inside of him, and those delicate lips to put it all the way out... My reactions are the most stupid ones, because I'm just... totally in love with him. And I can feel he loves me back. 

The most important thing about love is to know how to love someone, and be loved back. 

That's Tsukishiro Yukito... my friend, my lover, my boyfriend, my world... 

I've always been in love with him. I'll always be... And people think that I fell in love with him because of his personality, his ways, his sensibility, honesty, compassion, or even his beauty and power, maybe his sexual abilities (oh man, he's sooooo hot)... I'm not going to say that all these things didn't help, because they did. But the very first moment I fell for him was when he first said my name, in this lovely way he found to talk to me. 

The rest... Ow, the rest was chip chat... After hearing my name that way... All I could think was: more. I *want* more. I *need* more. 

*** 

_[Present, Tsukishiro Home, 4am]_

"Hummm... Toooo-yaaaa..." 

"..." 

"What're doing up at this hour?" 

"Ah. Nothing Yuki, I was just... thinking to myself..." 

Speaking about our love with a bunch of yaoi fans? That's so... sappy... and stupid... 

"Come back here? I'm cold..." 

"I'll be right there, Yuki..." 

Well, I'm coming back to bed. There are a lot of new "To-ya"s that I could talk about, but I've told you the most important ones. Beside, my honey is awake, cold, alone and naked at his huge bed and I'm not letting him by himself, hum? He might need some help with... ow, something... whatever... 

"Tooooooooo-yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..." 

Ohhhhh... did you hear that? The best of all: Sexy Toooo-yaaaaa !!!! That means I'm getting some more!! And oh... what a shame... *you're getting none* ! 

Bye by-hmmmmmmm... 

*******CENSURED*******

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_Author's Notes: _

I don't really know if there is a difference between Touya and To-ya, I've just made that all up. In my opinion, there are all these To-yas I wrote about. Yukito is very unique, and I found out that all of this happens just with Touya. Yukito says the others characters names with no difference and no emphasis, nothing... 

I've wrote one of my favorites scenes. The one in which Touya steals Sakura-chan's ice-cream (and he sucks it weirdly), and then Nakuru steals it from him. I love Nakuru, she's very creepy, weird and that's... nice? Well, but, you see, this is the only scene in which Yukito actually gets mad at Touya. He kind of... talks seriously with the boy, and he frowns for just 2 seconds. The next second he's already smiling and offering Sakura-chan to buy her a new ice-cream. I have this episode taped, and there is a slight difference in the way Yukito talks with Touya, and says his name. 

I got the idea for this fic when I realised, some time ago, that everybody I know calls me a different way. It's always "Ma" but some say "M", some say "Maaaaa..." and on and on with all the stuff I wrote about Yukito. I think it's very annoying. When my mama calls me, I can tell without looking at her if she's going to offer me something to eat, ask me a favor or start a fight... it's all in the way she says my name. 

Thank you all for reading my fic. I hope you ennjoyed it! 

_Mukuro May_


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